Written and Directed by Joel Hopkins

A friend of mine has been waiting three weeks to see this movie with me, and last night was our first opportunity. My first inkling of trouble was that we were the youngest women in the theater (I must register my surprise that there were about 20 other people in the theater on a Monday night. If they hadn’t been spread all over the auditorium, I would have imagined it to be a movie outing for the local Senior Center). This was only of passing interest, until half way through the second preview when we all realized that there were significant sound troubles. It occurred to me that as the most sprightly of the audience members, it would only be polite if I went to inform management. Sadly, the poor audio persisted throughout the film, making the dialogue a bit hard to hear. Even more sadly, I’m not sure hearing it at the appropriate volume would have helped.

The title character of the film, played by Dustin Hoffman (regular readers will know that I chronically confuse him with Richard Dreyfuss)  is an aging jingle writer. He is becoming obsolete at his job, he has few personal relationships and he’s probably an alcoholic. Harvey has come to London to see his estranged daughter get married. His is a classically sad tale. He’s simply not good enough. He knows he’s not good enough, but he doesn’t do anything to make himself better. I know people like that. Heck, there have been times in my life that I’ve been tempted to be that person. It’s possible Harvey just needs a good anti-depressant….

Arriving in London, we see that Harvey’s ex-wife and her new family (including his daughter, the bride-to-be) have quite happily moved on to life without him. Although they are relatively gracious and kind to Harvey, it is quite obvious that they are making just exactly as much effort towards him as they feel he warrants. They give off an air of self-congratulation… as if to say ‘aren’t we civil? Even Harvey is welcome here’. Harvey picks up on the vibe, bails on the reception, and heads back to New York.

He misses his flight (this poor guy can’t do anything right), and ends up stuck at the airport, where he meets Kate (the always delightful Emma Thompson). Kate works at the airport, and Harvey was actually fairly rude to her earlier in the day. Recognizing her, Harvey convinces her to have a meal with him, and the ‘romantic’ comedy ensues. Now usually at this point in a romantic comedy review, my quotations would be around the word ‘comedy’… because that’s usually where formulaic movies fall short. Between Kate’s overbearing mother (who is terrified of her Polish neighbor, who she fears is a serial killer), and the kid’s table at the wedding reception, there are a couple of actual LOL moments. I never imagined a movie could get the romance part of the formula wrong.

I’ve got to tell ya, I’m not a fan of Harvey (or this movie). It’s a real shame, because I happen to be the kind of critic who believes that Hollywood should diversify and start making movies that aren’t just directed toward the spending habits of teenage boys. I was excited to see a romantic comedy for a woman in her fifties… which is the new 30, haven’t you heard? Clearly the studio did not get the Cougar memo.

So we’ve got a man who is a bit of a personal failure. Harvey gives the clear impression that although he might be having a stretch of bad luck, he’s no stranger to hard times. He has lost his job, screwed up with his family, and missed his flight. And his very first reaction is to have a half dozen shots of whiskey and fancy-talk a pretty younger woman who he was rude to earlier in the day. Seems like Harvey’s one talent might be chasing skirt. He is just charming enough to crack open Kate’s defenses, and he seems to know all the right things to say, for a man who is all alone in life. His most charming feature is that he takes a vivid interest in Kate’s musings and the meanderings of her imagination. I must admit, this is also my personal relationship heroin, so I can see how Kate found him appealing.

He effectively stalks her for an entire day, then convinces her to come to his daughter’s wedding reception. Yep, he gate crashes his daughter’s reception with a complete stranger. Then he interrupts her step-father and insists on making the ‘father’s’ toast to the bride. Turns out everything is about Harvey… and so much for the wishes of the Bride. During his toast he repeatedly references the trials of divorce, which I know is just what every young married couple yearns to hear. Then he ignores Kate at the reception, to the point that she tries to leave. Seriously, this guy is a huge cad… and I’m pretty sure I was the only person in the theater who saw it.

My friend (who is admittedly in her 50s, and tears up at every movie with a happy ending) was sniffling in the seat beside me. And I certainly didn’t hear anyone else muttering ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ under their breath.

Here’s the trouble: Harvey had all the right words. But I’ve gotta tell ya girls. I’ve been dating for a minute now, and Harvey’s a player. It took me a minute to realize why I left the theater feeling vaguely angry. I looked over to my friend, who is much like Kate. She is an attractive, smart, funny, professional woman. She took good care of her mother, until her passing. My friend is single only because she refuses to date. I promise you, dear reader, that if she was as willing to engage a man as Kate was in this movie, she wouldn’t be single – and neither would Kate. The message of this movie is that a woman in her 50’s can’t find a decent man, so must settle for being treaeted badly by a much older man? Kate gets the predictably happy ending, but I have a feeling that ‘ever after’ is a bit much to ask with a guy like Last Chance Harvey. If you’re looking for a swoopy, crazy romantic comedy between two complete strangers, you’d do a lot better with Harold & Maude or Garden State.

Original Motion Picture Score:

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© Copyright 2009

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Directed by Oliver Stone

I went into this movie rather blindly. I hadn’t seen many of the previews, but had come across some of the print ads, which seemed so silly as to be boldly at odds with the fact that the movie was directed by Oliver Stone. As a complete aside, but a necessary piece of context, I took my role as your media consultant very seriously – this was my first ‘real’ movie review, and I decided to forego the popcorn. Huge mistake. A movie is just not the same without it.

Now…on to business. The movie is meant to be a mostly-factual look at the life of George W. Bush (played by Josh Brolin). It begins with his youth as a Fraternity Pledge through his time at Yale and Harvard, segues into his bid and election as Governor of Texas and finally examines his time as President of the United States. The movie stops short of moving into current times however, and winds up early in his second term. The movie is really a dichotomy all the way through – there is at once plenty of deadly serious content, with a cast that seems to at times caricaturize their roles (see especially Thandie Newton as Condoleezza Rice).

In stark contrast to the one preview I saw, the movie was not particularly funny. Of course, there were plenty of George W. Bush gaffs, particularly regarding his…colloquial use of the English language. Some of the hits were more subtle than others, one of my favorites being a lunch meeting between W. and Dick Cheney, where the president consumed a white bread sandwich, garnished with iceberg lettuce, a Dr. Pepper, and a rather large mass of what looked suspisciously like Cheetos. Then there was the moment, when presented with the idea of water-boarding as a method of interrogation when W. replies ‘Kind of reminds me of my fraternity days’. Having said that, there were very few laugh-out-loud moments, and most of them were scornful rather than gleeful. Surely as a nation we are sick to death of laughing at this man? And really, the fact that the leader of the free world often comes across with the relative intellect of Foghorn Leghorn is getting old, fast.

Speaking of Dick Cheney, his character is absolutely nailed by Dustin Hoffman Richard Dreyfuss (I have got to get off the crack… thanks to Susan for pointing out this error!). His is also one of the more pivotal roles in the movie, as the strongest voice in favor of the invasion of Iraq (along with Karl Rove, who is basically portrayed as Satan incarnate in the film). Remember the good old days when we thought that perhaps Iraq would be as quick and ‘easy’ as Operation Desert Storm? Here we are, years and untold losses later, and Oliver Stone and co. have given us some absolutely terrifying thoughts as to the behind-the-scenes maneuvering and posturing.

Of course, the movie was directed by Oliver Stone (Platoon, JFK, Natural Born Killers), so we must expect at least a somewhat sympathetic portrayal of W. as a ‘real man’. Indeed, Stone shows us just how W. became the man he is today – an arrogant and priviledged youth, alcoholic, desperate to please his father and out-do his brother. Amazingly, we can sympathize with W. as a man. We certainly cannot however, sympathize with him as a President. There is one spine-chilling moment in the movie where W. is railing at his advisors. He demands to know ‘Who’s in Charge???’.

With that, I wonder about the timing of this movie. Have we so little respect for our nation’s leader (and thereby our nation – and ourselves the electorate) that we will tell his story while he is still living – nay, while he is still in office? If the movie were more blatantly anti-Bush, I would chalk it up to the Hollywood machine stepping into propaganda (a role they’re pretty familiar with, I believe). Rather, I think we should take this movie as a cautionary tale. For you see, if our nation is in trouble (as it most certainly is), we have only ourselves to blame. Remember – it’s ALL politics. So in the end, the movie made me faintly angry and a little sad. At least I saw it on a rainy day – it matched my mood exiting the theater.

iTunes Soundtrack:

iTunes Movie:

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© Copyright 2008

Don’t feel bad if you don’t have any idea what the title of this review means. I didn’t either, until now. I’ve gone into the world of Disney’s High School Musical franchise, and emerged to tell the tale.

Friday, on my way home from the gym, I swung by my local movie theater to see what new movies would be opening that night. I was greeted – mid-afternoon, on a rainy day – with a horde of pre-pubescent girls (I hear we’re calling them ‘tweens’ these days). Perplexed, I parked the car and got out to investigate. As it turns out, Friday was opening day for High School Musical 3, and the entire world (except, apparently for me) is a-twitter. The theater had signs posted everywhere, announcing that they were sold out of all shows, all weekend long for HSM3.

OK, so you have almost had to be living under a rock to not have heard of High School Musical somewhere along the line. But since when did my local movie theater need security measures reminiscent of a boy band concert in the middle of a Friday afternoon? So I rolled over to Blockbuster to do some reconnaissance. That evening, I decided to make the best of it and was prepared with good food, a bottle of wine, my flannel pajamas, and a basket of nail polish nearby. I settled in for girl night with a positive attitude.

The first High School Musical opens with Troy (played by Zac Efron) and Gabriella (Vanessa Hudgens) meeting at the New Year’s Eve event at the resort where their families are vacationing. They are both unduly pressured into singing karaoke, and thus begins the franchise’s love affair. This, I thought grimly to myself, requires more of a suspension of disbelief than Godzilla meets Jaws and they attack New York with nuclear submarines.

Flash to the first day back to high school after Christmas break. There’s a new kid in town, and guess what? It’s Gabriella, who finds herself with her new friend Troy, and the rest of the sophomore cast, uh,  I mean class at school. Realization dawned: This is Grease, for the new millennium. For a brief moment, I got excited. I loved Grease – as did all of my friends – back in 8th grade. We were just this side of obsessed. We even tried to like Grease 2 (even then, The Critic Who Counts had good taste). Sadly, aside from the initial plot line, these two movies couldn’t be more different.

Through a series of hijinks and accidents, Troy and Gabriella win parts as the leads in the school musical. They are thwarted in this ambition by the devious drama-school queen Sharpay (yes, pronounced like the dog) and her rather flamboyant brother Ryan, the two of whom have had the lead roles in every school production since kindergarten. The cast is rounded out primarily by Troy’s best friend Chad, played by Corbin Bleu. You may have seen Corbin’s face (mostly hidden underneath a mass of perpetual-motion afro curls) on music video channels – I first came across him at the gym on the music channel and wondered who the heck he was. Obviously a Disney kid, I remember thinking. He’s got the funniest hair… and with a name like Corbin Bleu (really? Who does that to a kid? Sounds like he should be on a menu) it’s a good thing he’s gorgeous and talented.

I will grant that Grease had a relatively low production value, was corny as hell, and that no grown man should admit to loving it. But with Frenchie inches away from being a beauty school drop out (before which she had to be a high school drop out!), Rizzo having an unwanted pregnancy (before which she had to be having unprotected teenage sex), and the climax of the movie revolving around a dangerous and illegal car race, Grease had some street credibility. High School Musical is so cotton-candy sweet that it made me feel like I needed to brush my teeth. Even Sharpay isn’t irredeemable, and she comes around to the good side at the end of both the first and second installments.

Furthermore, the kids in HSM all have cooler cell phones than I do, and the boys have better highlights than me. This was so not my high school experience. I remember high school as filled with labels and groups – and who you were didn’t matter nearly as much as who you hung out with. And if you were a kid who insisted that ‘who you are’ was the most important thing, there was a group for that too…. the punk rock kids, and we hung out in the back parking lot. Disney’s got some moral value stuff going on here, be all you can be, get along with everybody, accept people’s differences. They’re also obviously promoting a fairly liberal view of personal choices – if Ryan (Sharpay’s brother) isn’t gay, I’m not a really cool girl.

I only wish that in a movie with ’school’ in the name, Disney could have placed some value on intellect. The movie is obviously written for children, but most of the kids I know are smart enough that some of this dialogue would be painful for them as well. For instance, when the captain of the Scholastic Decathlon team tells Gabriella ‘We were worse than jerks. We were mean jerks… The Decathlon is ‘whatever’, but how you feel about Troy, that’s what matters.’ This is effectively the smartest kid in the high school speaking. I am so worried about our future.

I wish I could say that I was interested to see HSM3, but I believe I’ll pass. I had to think really hard of a justification to continue watching the second movie, once I ascertained that it was simply more of the first. Here’s what I came up with: I’m hotter at 33 than I was at 23. These days there’s a whole phenomenon and subculture of older women (referred to as cougars) who date much younger men. By the time I’m 50, these boys will be my prey. I’m going to bank the four hours I spent on this project for future research.

Ten Years, My Pretty...

One final note here: On the DVD versions, there were sing-a-long options. If you select this, the lyrics to all of the songs will play across the bottom of the screen so that viewers can sing the movie like karaoke. I want to know who sings along with this, and why. Seriously – no judgement implied or given. I just want to understand. So leave me a comment, please…

High School Musical Soundtrack:

High School Musical Movie:

High School Musical 2 Soundtrack:

High School Musical 2 Movie:

High School Musical 3 Soundtrack:

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© Copyright 2008

All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Avenged.